This morning I was reading my friend’s blog about her shopping adventures – actually it was more of a quest for a lemon yellow blouse and her lament that after her intensive shopping effort she found when she got home that she didn’t like the fit of the collection of items she had picked up and indeed eventually discovered she had a lemon yellow top lying around at home all along (see www.areavoices/HOMD for more on the story).
Now my friend has to go back to all the stores she purchased items at and return them. This brings up the logical question, “Why didn’t she just try these items on at the store?” Well, in discussing this, let’s remove the time factor (she was on a quest remember -there was no time for trying on); let’s focus the discussion on the two types of people in the world – those who try on at the store and those who try on at home.
I used to be a “try on at the store” kind of gal. Those were the days when I still wore two piece bathing suits and didn’t understand the true devastation that three-way mirrors were designed to deliver to a woman’s psyche. I was naïve and had little to complain about then.
I am no longer a “try on at the store” kind of gal. I realized long ago that all the grunting, sobbing, screaming and cussing that I emitted from the dressing room was unseemly. Crowds would gather, dressing room folks would cringe as I approached with the low rise jeans, and wiser women would look away knowing full well what was coming and how avoidable it all was. It became brutally apparent that the time had come to become a “try on at home” gal. I feel that my shift from “at the store” to “at home” was of benefit to retailers everywhere. All the despair and angst that I was evidencing in the dressing rooms surely was hurting business.
America, I did this for you and even though it means that I may buy things and have to spend extra time to return them I am okay with that as I believe the three-way mirror does enough damage to your psyche without additionally having to hear me sound like I am giving birth to a 12 pound baby without an epidural in the next dressing room (it’s trying to get on those damn low rise jeans…seriously).
At home I do not have a three-way mirror. I also do not have fluorescent lighting. I try and avoid seeing myself in bright light in a full 3-D view. I want soft light and a mirror that I have to stand a bit back from to take it all in. I am, after all, near-sighted and the farther away I am the less issues I have with how things look. You can’t back away from the mirror in those tiny dressing rooms. You are surrounded by the brightly lit and brutal reality.
At home I can grunt, groan, scream, cry, rant and cuss without worrying about whether store security is going to ask me to hand over the low rise jeans and leave. At home I can at least maintain some dignity when I realize that the manufacturers have clearly mislabeled the sizing on all of the selections I have chosen. At home I can turn away from the mirror when things start to get ugly. At home I can spend an hour trying to get back off that which I just worked up a sweat trying to get on (and have a snack in-between to build back up my energy level).
Yes, I am a “try on at home” gal and that is, as Martha Stewart is known to say, “A good thing.”
Day fifty-nine of the new forty – obla di obla da