Putting On My Big Girl Panties…

Yesterday I was disappointed with a couple of folks’ actions. I hate when that happens. Have you ever had that experience where you held someone at a certain level of esteem and you learned it may not be warranted? I imagine everyone has had that experience at some point or another.

It just reminded me that while I am older, in many ways I still sometimes find myself to be naïve in what I expect from folks. I try and believe the best until I know otherwise. I know otherwise now and I kind of wish I didn’t.

I realize I am a Pollyanna. I really do believe that one’s integrity is ultimately the only thing one has at the end of the day. And I know I am not alone in that belief. It is an enduring precept of my field. You have to be true, genuine and reliable. You have to own your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions.

I have grown into my sense of integrity – I wasn’t always where I am with it today. It was a process of learning about what matters and realizing that with integrity comes trust and with that trust comes additional reinforcement of the need for integrity. I would never survive in one of those reality shows where they all lie to each other and try and manipulate the situation – I would be voted out of the house or even worse, off the island (which has additional implications as I am not a swimmer).

In addition to the curse of being a Pollyanna, I also have a memory like an elephant for this type of stuff (although as I have noted in other blogs other more valuable information seems to regularly escape me). I struggle to forget disappointments. Not that I won’t move on, of course I will. I will not forget though, which is unfortunate as it threatens to forever change the dynamic in the relationship. Sometimes positive reinforcements of my original perception in the future make the disappointment seem like an anomaly and it fades into the background and becomes barely visible in my mind’s eye. Sometimes…but not often.

On an Oprah show many years ago I remember her saying, “When someone shows you a piece of themselves you should pay attention.” This message came at a time in my life when it really had an opportunity to resonate.  I do pay attention to what folks show me about themselves and yesterday I was disappointed at what I saw.

Having noted my disappointment, I’ll just have to put on my big girl panties and move on. It won’t be the first time I have been disappointed and it won’t be the last – but it never really gets any easier to watch your perceptions go by the wayside. Thankfully, I have a hundred other things that occupy my mind and this will lose my focus momentarily.

But as I said, big girl panties here I come…which reminds me, have you seen the price of underwear lately? I was on JC Penney’s webpage the other day and they had pairs of underwear for $12.99 – EACH. Plus, I might add they weren’t the big girl panties I am looking to put on. Some of them have less fabric than a cloth coaster for heaven’s sake…how in the world can they cost more than a t-shirt? Something is very wrong here my friends.

What happened to the days of underwear costing a dollar or two? I did buy some underwear at the Gordman’s clearance event last year for $2 each, but they were categorically the ugliest underwear you have ever seen (or conversely will never see) – they have stripes of varying sizes and colors and gold lace at the top – truly mc-ugly. When I purchased them I rationalized that underwear are functional and do not need to be attractive. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Ugly underwear are damaging to one’s psyche. It doesn’t matter if no one else knows because you know. That is probably why they get away with charging $12.99 for cute, albeit fairly flimsy, underwear.

Why am I even going on about underwear? Of course, I digress again – shocking. What was I on before I became distracted? Oh yes, big girl panties…I better go look for those and move on. 😉

Day seventy-two of the new forty – obla di obla da


6 Responses

  1. Kim

    I am with you on the cost of panties! I have a teenage daughter so I forked out $40 at JC Penney for 10 pair of small triangles that were called panties. Asking her if she wasn’t sure she wanted a 6 pack of Barbie panties at Target for 3.99 like the good old days did get a laugh… but I want those days back. I shudder to think how much those seriously large panties cost…

  2. buffalogal

    What you are going to do about your cheap sales panties is keep your eyes shut til you get them covered up with other clothes! Do not look at them even when you take a bathrom break! Problem solved by a Cheap-Smart child of the late Depression Era!!!! (you may have to look when you put them in the laundry but it will be OK…trust me!)
    Integrity! You are so right about it being the one thing that ultimately counts in one’s life and I know the disappointment also of learning about someone’s lack of integrity in a work place…yes even in an elementary school!!!
    One of my best friends among the retired teachers absolutely LOVES your New Forty blog!!! So do I incidentally.

  3. PrairieWoman

    Ugly panties have only one purpose and eventually even that runs out. If I buy cheap ugly panties I save them for when Aunt Rose or Aunt Flo come to visit. I’m looking forward to the day when they stop coming to check if I am going to have another baby or not. I thought tying a knot at the entryway door would give them the hint, but I guess I’ll just have to wait.

    Along with integrity comes honesty. I am finding more and more these days that I am disappointed in others based on these two things. Then I have to check myself to make sure that I am maintaining my integrity. Nobody’s perfect that’s for sure. It’s when a pattern develops that it’s time to pull on the big girl panties and move on if you can.

  4. Ms. C


    Great comments – funny and deep at the same time. Good to hear the notion and valuation of integrity is alive and well. Thank you all…you made my day! 🙂

    Kim ~ I wonder how large a size those Barbie underwear come in…I might look into those if prices continue to rise. I can tell you this much, sometimes the seriously large panties are less expensive than the triangle and string kind – what is up with that?

    BG ~ Wow, great tips on how to endure the ugly underwear – I’ll try that today! Thanks so much for your kind words as well – I sincerely appreciate them.

    PW ~ A whole new way to think of tying the knot…clearly my approach which has resulted in a couple of ex-husbands has been the wrong approach. As always, you leave me in stitches. By the way, no call from Oprah yet, but I’ll keep you posted on the road trip.

  5. Kim

    Pantie update! I was in Victoria Secret today and there is a steal deal of 3 triangles for a mere $30!!!! Rush while they last!

  6. Ms. C

    OMG Kim – maybe if I buy three I can sew them all together! 🙂

    Keep the updates coming – especially if you see Spanx on sale.


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