I Am “if-ted”…

Shhh! I have a secret. I think I can dance. When I see the show, So You Think You Can Dance, I always think yes…yes, I do think I can dance.

Now, to be clear – I don’t leap through the air or have any formal training in tap or ballet. I am not a street dancer. I do not do ballroom, albeit there was that disastrous effort about five years back when Kat, Tam and I went to ballroom dancing class (well really Kat and me – Tam almost always found an excuse to miss and yes, I am still bitter about that). I do not salsa, unless it is on my food, and I no longer attempt disco (although back in my very early adult years of 18-20 I was a Dancing Queen with one of my ex-beaus who loved disco – its all a haze now and “Hustle” means something totally different in my current vocabulary). And no, I never danced with a pole or in any capacity where the outfits were skimpy and the five inch heels were clear…I don’t care if it looks like me in those photos – it’s not me.

So, I have no real dance training or experience, but I love music and I think I have great “musicality” (I picked that term up from Dancing with the Stars). I can feel the music and visualize it in movement. Conceptually that should take me at least half the way. Alas, coordination is where I think my gifted status moves to more “if-ted” which is just a tad short of gifted. And when I say “tad” I mean that to be a euphemism in a polite society for “substantially lacking”.

But even knowing and acknowledging all of the above, I still love doing my dance thing and when I am doing it I really do believe I have the moves. To be honest, up until two years ago, I had never really seen myself dance. Prior to seeing myself dance I was holding on to the thought that I may just be a bit “gifted”, but bless my darling daughter Sarah for video taping my dancing at my wedding, that allowed me to let go of any misconceptions I had. Indeed, one of the most horrifying visual imprints I have in my mind is seeing the video she took of me from behind shaking my fanny at record speed (and let me just say cream lace is not slimming – and let’s not even have the white vs. cream discussion – if I ever have cause to marry again I will be wearing black and video cameras and cell phones will be banned from the vicinity).

At any rate, yes, I do think I can dance. Never mind that there is evidence out there to the contrary. I still go out and shake my booty (a.k.a., groove thing, moneymaker, etc.) with aplomb. I can’t help myself and I get such joy out of dancing that I just try and forget that I probably look like a science experiment gone wrong. So herein is either your warning (should you desire to avoid therapy having seen something you won’t soon forget) or your invitation (should you want a good laugh at the types of movements the uncoordinated can put together) – just in case you are in my vicinity when the “dancing” begins. Just wait…you’ll see how “if-ted” a dancer I am…and no, I don’t give lessons.   😉

Day eighty of the new forty – obla di obla da


5 Responses

  1. Ms. C


    You danced and I scared my partners – do you remember how funny some of those lessons were? OMG – back in the day.



  2. Melissa

    your wedding dancing wasn’t that bad…i thought it was good actually. you can stay with a beat…others there could not! 🙂

  3. PrairieWoman

    I think I would have to see it first. Maybe you could post said video tape for the rest of us to base our opinions on. Yeah that’s it. Post the video….Of course if you ever really ran for office or anything….well…it might not be the thing to have put out there. LOL!

    I can’t dance to save my life unless it’s Pow wow dancing and even that is iffy these days.

  4. Ms. C

    Melissa ~ oh my, let’s not go there! I have a memory block on that visual. 🙂

    PW~yeah, I am thinking that is one video that is better kept from the light of day lest I scar the psyches of others who happen upon it. 😉

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