The Trouble With Kabuki Brushes…

Let me say that not all kabuki brushes are created equal. My kabuki brush is clearly inferior and my mission today is to go forth into the world and find a higher quality kabuki brush.

For those of you unfamiliar with the kabuki brush it is a short, fat, stubby brush that you use to put on dry powder makeup (such as foundation or blush). Kabuki bristles can be made of many things. Most are synthetic, but you can get them made out of all types of creature hair – like goat or squirrel hair (personally that does not sound appealing to me). Kabuki brush bristles come in a variety of shades such as black, brown and natural (albeit, I am not sure how many shades of black there are). Kabuki brushes can cost anywhere from five dollars to upward of fifty dollars.

My kabuki has black synthetic bristles. It didn’t cost fifty dollars. You get what you pay for.

My kabuki brush sheds. Well, perhaps shed is not the correct word. "Sheds" denotes that full bristles fall off and that really isn’t the case. My kabuki brush loses small pieces of its bristles…pieces that are typically about a quarter inch long. More specifically, dark black pieces that are a quarter inch long. I am not sure how long this has been occurring or the rate of loss. I have just recently noticed this disturbing trend and given how busy and scattered I am most mornings this may have been going on for months without my knowledge.

Why is this concerning? Well, I’ll tell you…short black hairs – synthetic or not – when deposited randomly on one’s face with the application of foundation tend to look like whiskers – be they in the form of an emerging mustache or a random growth scattered somewhere across one’s face. Perhaps you are thinking that an innocuous bristle here or there is easily picked off and disposed of, but if you come to that conclusion you are operating under an assumption that they can be seen. Sure those with average eyesight can likely see them from a good distance away. I, however, wear contact lenses many a day that correct for distance and when I wear those my ability to see some small things close up – things like one quarter inch black synthetic hairs on my face – is diminished dramatically.

Luckily, my contact lenses have been bothering me of late and I have been wearing my librarian glasses when I walk, drive, teach, etc. but going sans glasses at home when putting on makeup. What an eye-opener that has been! I discovered that my kabuki brush regularly leaves these little black hairs on my face. The first day I noticed it I thought it to be a fluke, but the daily depository of small black hairs convinced me that this has likely been going on for months.

The problem is that I just realized this issue about three weeks ago. So, for months folks have likely been wondering why I don’t pluck those horribly obvious black hairs – be they on my upper lip, nose, chin, cheek, wherever – from the face that I obviously took the time to put makeup on and must have seen. I know what I would think if I saw such a hair on someone else – I would wonder what the hell the person was thinking not plucking that out (and I would hold back an overwhelming urge to reach over and pluck it out right then and there). My assumption would be that surely the person could see the obnoxious and offensive black hair. Well, I stand corrected.

Some semi-blind folks with lesser quality kabuki brushes may have black hairs that they don’t see and that are not (and let me reiterate ARE NOT) actually whiskers, but are instead an indication of what can go wrong when the unhappy circumstances of semi-blindness and lesser quality kabuki brushes converge.

I imagine I would have been horrified if someone had come up to me and picked off one of my kabuki whiskers, but likely quite grateful. It is the equivalent of spinach in your teeth – you want to know as it limits the embarrassment to the interaction with that one person who told you as opposed to the hundred that would not be as kind as you move through your day.

So, for the record – if you have wondered about any stray black hairs on my face over the past few months it was the kabuki.  My next kabuki will be of a higher quality and will have lighter color bristles…and it you happen to see a stray kabuki hair on my face – feel free to pluck it off…even if it is not a kabuki hair, I’ll appreciate it.

Day one hundred and ten of the new forty – obla di obla da


4 Responses

Comments are closed.