The time is ever so near. Only two more days until the Super Bowl of shopping is here – Black Friday. I have been getting teaser ads via email for weeks. Today I received an email from Toys R’ Us that said stores will be opening at 12 AM on Friday. And here I thought Kohl’s 4 AM opening was ridiculous. I guess parents desperate to get that little hamster that is all the rage this year will be waiting in line at 12 AM.
I can tell you one thing for sure – I won’t be there. I have put in my time as a hardcore Black Friday shopper complete with partner entrance and exit strategies. I have won the event – I have the Super Bowl ring (or more specifically the lowest priced item). I know the thrill of the competition and the agony of defeat. But my days of being on the front line are over now.
Since the advent of internet shopping I employ all my best moves at home in front of my computer; and while it is a shame that the power of my victory goes unnoted by the masses it is at least known to me. My new approach to the game leaves me with no bruised elbows, no need to go to confession, no angst over where I parked the car in the overcrowded lot, and no need for a nap. I consider this to be my intelligent strategy (in the past I focused more on brawn than brains).
I may pay a dollar or two more on an online item, but with the savings I evidence in time, gas, and aspirin I still come out on top of the heap. Plus, there will be no package lugging for me. All my acquisitions are delivered to my door (and yes, I always capitalize on free shipping) and if there is any problem with the merchandise it can be returned to the local retailer. How’s that for game play in-store shoppers?
So go ahead and line up at Toys R’ Us or Kohl’s at some ungodly hour and I will sit back and conduct operations from my home base at my leisure. We can compare notes when all the dust has settled and after you ice those elbows and take a nap.
Day one hundred and forty-three of the new forty – obla di obla da