Do Not Eat While On The Run…

Today was one of THOSE days.

I think everyone has days like this from time to time. I am talking about a day where everything jumps from one pressing thing to the next without giving you a moment to breathe…or eat…or go to the bathroom. Of course I fit in the eating – usually I take random bites when I can and try and chew and walk at the same time (most days I can do this successfully).

I am so frequently trying to squeeze in lunch in-between meetings that students are acutely aware of my entire lunch selection menu. For almost an entire school year I had a lean pocket and V-8 for lunch (never doubt that I could survive on bomb shelter food for a year – I can do repetition). My lean pocket lunches became quite well-known amongst the students and I was finally shamed out of eating them any longer; unfortunately, that didn’t happen until after I had burned of the tip of my tongue a few times and had to teach my 12:30 class with what sounded like a lisp (the internal temperature in those things gets to about 400 degrees). It is difficult to be credible as an supposedly intelligent educator when you have just burned off the tip of your tongue AGAIN.

This year I started off on the right foot with actual roast beef sandwiches (which all started with that sample lady at Sam’s Club who let me taste that great roast beef). That went on for about two months – a roast beef sandwich and a V-8. Then I started taking some ribbing from my colleague Biga in the office next to me about my V-8 being sodium laden despite the fact that I continually pointed out it counted as two vegetable servings (I am all about multi-tasking when it comes to my vegetable and beverage needs). And yes, I know there is a low sodium version and I have tried it…I just can’t do it…even if it the regular V-8 is akin to a salt lick, it is still the V-8 for me.

Recently I have been eating Lunchables for lunch (which makes sense based on their name…I wonder if any one ever has been such a daredevil that they ate a Lunchable for say…dinner…oh my…that would be scandalous). Lunchables work quite well with my one bite at a time schedule and they are easy to tote. I purchased a whole bag full of them and put them in the refrigerator at work and that worked well for a couple of weeks until I ran out. Of course, for this too I took ribbing.

With no Lunchables in sight today I had to buy a sandwich and yogurt parfait from the little sandwich/coffee shop in Minard Hall. I must say that I have grown quite fond of those parfaits. They have berries and granola and are “ultra yummy” (which is far bnetter than merely “yummy”). They are so good, don’t seem too bad for you and have a soothing effect when you are having one of THOSE days. Plus, no one makes fun of the parfaits. Considering the fact that I have so many of THOSE days I should probably just pick up a parfait every day on my way up to my office. If I did that I would have the lunch dilemma addressed for at least a month or two – maybe even a year – as long as I don’t inhale the granola and choke on it. I can hear the students talking about it now…

“Yep, it’s true – she actually choked on granola.”

“OMG – she did? Why was she eating granola? I thought she ate those lean pockets for lunch.”

“No way! That was so 2008-2009. She has been buying those parfaits from the little food shop in Minard for lunch for the past couple of months.”

"So how did she choke?”

“Well, as I hear it, she was having one of THOSE days and was trying to eat and run and it was too much for her – she inhaled when she should have chewed.”


“Yep…bummer…now they have a label on all those parfaits that say do not eat while on the run.”

Oh yes, I can hear it now…my infamy will be based on some ill-advised lunch choice as usual…some things never change.

Day one hundred and fifty of the new forty – obla di obla da




3 Responses

  1. Kay Syvrud

    Oh Yes! Those who choose teaching NEVER get an hour lunch break! I still finish my food before everyone else due to habits learned in a teacher’s lounge in a public school!

  2. Ms. C

    Ladies – yes…lunch…it is a lovely notion in theory and no, PW~ it is not an urban legend…it really happens and sometimes people actually leave their desk and sit down in a dining area – GASP – it is true! 😎


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