I am not typically one to forward tons of email stuff, but some stuff is just too good to ignore. As such, my friend Naomi forwarded this on to me and I enjoyed it so that I am sharing it with you. I do not know who to attribute this little comic masterpiece to, but I offer props to the creator nonetheless.
It addresses two age old topics that I find endlessly fascinating: the difference between dating and marriage and the differences between men and women.
I think dating must be less attractive to men than women as historically it has required a great deal of time and effort on the man’s part. As a woman I can tell you that the act of being wooed has its own special appeal. There is something to be said for settling in though with one person – nesting is good, but it is decidely different. Somewhat akin to wearing high heels to business meetings and old fuzzy slippers at home.
As to the differences between men and women, wiser and funnier minds have already addressed that issue. Today I give you with the below installation instructions and will leave it at that.
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstance install the Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend you try Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Perhaps there are like instructions for installing a wife? Please do share if you know of them…this is an equal opportunity giggle-fest.
Day one hundred and fifty-six of the new forty – obla di obla da