They say when you are in trouble you should ask for help. I am in trouble and I am asking for help.
I never considered myself to have an addictive personality, but I guess I was wrong. In my defense I had no idea how addictive it would all become – things just got away from me.
It all started with the iPod Nano my husband gave me and the iPod docking station my son gave me. I don’t think they realized that such seemingly innocent Christmas gifts could lead to such trouble, but I am sure that the whole seedy underbelly of society that feeds the addiction were fully aware how dangerous a path it was.
My son Cory put a number of my CDs on the iPod and set up the docking station on my desk so I could listen to my music while I was working on my computer (which is most of the time). Then Cory opened the door to my downfall by introducing me to iTunes and in no time my addiction was cemented.
Once you have tasted the power of finding every conceivable song or recording your heart ever desired you can’t help yourself you must have more – MORE AND MORE! I have been alive for decades and I love music. Some of my most powerful life memories are tied to music and at iTunes they are all there – ALL OF THEM! Do you have any idea how mesmerizing that is?? Then they tell you that you can have all those songs for $1.29 or less each…all those memories within reach for a pittance…and so it began.
I thought I had it control in the beginning when I picked up some of my favorite newer tracks by artists such as Pink, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Duffy and the Black-Eyed Peas – I mean the days of buying whole CDs are dead right? Soon I thought of a few other songs I wanted by Nickelback, Radiohead, Daughtry, and Bon Jovi…great music that I thought is a “must-have”. Then it was the search for tracks that reminded me of the ex-boyfriends and husbands – I should have known I was headed for trouble then. But no, I was in so deep by then that there was no way I was getting out. Next it was way back to the memories of Beach Boy summers and it was but a hop, skip and jump to the seventies and eighties…and before you know it I had everything from the Backstreet Boys to the Allman Brothers to Broadway musical hits…all for the tidy price of $1.29 each (although some were a bargain at .99 cents).
Finally there was some level of divine intervention when my computer locked up – the equivalent of an audio brain freeze no doubt. But for that I’d still be searching for a lifetime worth of memories in music. So here I am asking all of you for help as obviously I have a serious problem controlling myself and my habit is becoming expensive. If this continues I will have to cut back on other important things in life like Dairy Queen…clearly, I have loss perspective!!
Right now I am listening to Marty Casey’s rendition of Hit Me Baby One More Time and I am thinking maybe just a few more songs…I haven’t even touched rap, jazz or hardcore blues…with just a few more I’ll be well-rounded and then I’ll stop…I promise…I will…just one more set of downloads. Just one more set…I promise that’s it…maybe two if I think of anything else I have missed.
Day one hundred and eighty-four of the new forty – obla di obla