“Congrats! You’ve been chosen to Test & Keep Hunting products.”
That was the title of the email and I thought to myself that some poor random marketing spammer out there who put me on this list has no idea what an ugly scene would be set by giving me hunting products to “test & keep.” First of all, I don’t kill creatures. There are some insects I will kill (mosquitoes, ants, etc.), but most of them if found inside or in an inconvenient outside spot are merely relocated. I do not kill spiders or mice or things like that…I have no heart for such things…they aren’t meant to live with me, but I do not believe that equates with a death sentence for them. I know I am a goober and not of the rugged ilk of most North Dakotans (remember I am a California transplant – it explains a lot).
But…there is this business of exs…I would not mind testing some hunting equipment just to increase their blood pressure a bit. You would see a worried bunch of fellas if I was suddenly in possession of a weapon that it was my responsibility to test – as I take my responsibilities seriously and I would never hurt a creature – but an ex…hmmmm.
No need to notify law enforcement, I deleted the email after a few moments of reflecting upon how I might test those hunting products; but, I did not ask to be deleted from their mailing list.
Day one hundred and eighty-nine of the new forty – obla di obla da