In my next career I am going to be a medical doctor. I think I have some diagnostic skills. I can tell you that I am a veritable ninja with the Web MD symptom checker (if you haven’t tried it see http://symptoms.webmd.com/symptomchecker).
I have a wicked sore throat today. I knew from the early AM that it is just a matter of time until I lose my voice. This typically happens about once a year. I have long believed it is God’s gift to my husband and children – 24-48 hours of no words from me. Things can get ugly fast when my beloved family members realize no snappy retorts are forthcoming and take full advantage of antagonizing me. You would think they would learn that my voice eventually comes back and it is not a good idea to poke the caged animal with a sharp stick (or a sharp tongue), but they do not learn and they delight in the moments they have when all I can do is glare at them with disdain.
My initial thought was that I had strep throat, but seeing as I have no fever that is out. According to the symptom checker that leaves 19 possible other conditions. It is not tonsillitis or heartburn or bird flu (although Biga has been known to say I cackle…which I don’t think is one of the symptoms) and I am pretty sure it is not toxic shock syndrome or smoke exposure. I am also thinking it is not mononucleosis or a hiatal hernia.
I am leaning toward laryngitis or a viral infection being the reason for my sore throat. I am tempted to go in to the doctor just to confirm my Web MD diagnosis and my superior skills as a future diagnostician, but somehow that just seems wrong. Plus, even if I did confirm that my diagnostic skills are as superior as I suspect, it is difficult to gloat with no voice. Do you think God is trying to tell me something here?
Day two hundred of the new forty – obla di obla da