I may be on day five of being sick, but I am not dead yet. As such I can still find plenty of things that I find curious.
Case in point – the forecast for the rest of the week (see it below). The big news is the remainder of the week will be "cold". More specifically it will be, "Cold and Brisk"; "Sunny. Very Cold"; "Sunny and Cold."; and "Sunny. Cold."
Wednesday: Partly Cloudy. Cold and Brisk. High: 2° Wind: West to Northwest 10-20 mph. Wind Chill Values -20° to -30°
Thursday: Sunny. Very Cold. High: 0° Wind West to Northwest 5-15 mph. Wind Chill Values -15 to -25
Friday: Sunny and Cold. Low: -21° High: -3°
Saturday: Sunny. Cold. Low: -20° High: 0°
I don’t really get it. At 2° with some major wind chill the term selected was "Cold and Brisk"…okay I sort of get that. Two degrees less with similar wind chill warranted the addition of "very"…which seems like a more significant qualifer than two degrees warrants, but I guess all things are relative. Then the temperature drops to three below with no wind chill and we are back up to regular garden variety "cold". Same conditions with a three degree increase in the temperature and we are still at "cold" on Saturday.
Now, I am not a weather forecaster and I do not intend to disparage any of my weather pals out there, but I think that being in North Dakota requires terms that offer greater delineation. Cold and very cold just don’t cut it. Those are terms for Californians that call 50 degree days "cold" and anything in the 40 degree range "very cold". We call lesser days balmy. I believe we can do better in our descriptive terminology.
Here are a few suggestions I came up with off the top of my head for describing cold conditions more concisely:
Mildly – cold
Time to wear full-length pants – cold
You can leave the beer chillin’ on the porch – cold
Jacket weather – cold
Three layer – cold
Warm up the car for ten minutes before you get in it – cold
Frozen nose hairs – cold
Thermal underwear and wool socks are sexy – cold
I’m not fat I have on four layers – cold
Chipped a tooth when your teeth were chattering – cold
Can’t feel my limbs – cold
What is this the flipping tundra? – cold
Moving to Arizona – cold
Come on weather folks – you can do better than just cold. You probably have a couple of more months of this "cold" weather…I expect to see some more effort put into the descriptive aspects of cold. If there is one thing we should be able to do in North Dakota, it is describe variances in levels of cold. I’ll be watching for improvement…if not in the weather, then at least in the descriptives.
Day two hundred and five of the new forty – obla di obla da