I’ll just say at the outset that some days I can’t help myself – my inner mischief-maker cannot be suppressed. This is one of those days. When I saw the AP headline in The Forum online on September 13th that stated, “Several ND hunting seasons set to open later this week” – I knew I wouldn’t be able to let it pass without comment in my blog. I actually believe it is a testament to my level of restraint that I waited this long to address it as I immediately conjured up a whole series of images upon seeing the headline that amused me to no end (albeit, it is noted that I am very easily amused and have a tremendous talent for cracking myself up).
Hunting seasons…hmmmm…what am I hunting for this time of year and do they issue a license for that? And if so what are the restrictions?
Hunting for the cutest sweaters of the season in styles and colors that not everyone else will have…that license has no restrictions – as long as one can spend the time, money and effort – one can hunt day and night without any bagging limits.
Hunting for the perfect big, soft, cozy throw to keep me warm as the cool air settles in…that license has quantity restrictions as many are seeking said throws and the throw population is limited.
Hunting for the best excuse to go some place warm in January or February…that license is restricted and closely regulated by North Dakota government – no more than 5% of the population can leave the state at any given time – hence, excuses are evaluated competitively.
Hunting for the best man to cozy up with me on the cool nights under my cozy throw with my cozy sweater on…someone who can deliver a license-worthy excuse for January/February travel to warm places. Unfortunately, no license is issued for this activity – it is remains largely unregulated by the government. I must say, while not necessarily a fan of greater government regulation, in this one instance some folks should need to have a license and perhaps be made to wear identifying clothing that can be spotted twenty yards out (perhaps cute sweaters in an assortment of exotic colors and styles). Indeed, they should probably even be made to distribute safety whistles to their targets in the interest of protecting the species. Perhaps North Dakota legislators will work on this in the upcoming legislative session given how important an issue it is.
So yes, several North Dakota hunting seasons are set to open…do you have all the licenses you need? I think I am ready – I have the licenses I need and the safety whistles are on order.
Day four hundred and thirty-seven of the new forty – obla di obla da