Years ago someone told me that their mother, who was advancing in age, had been going around the house putting post-it notes on her things. Each post-it note designated who she wanted to have the item when she died.
I have to admit, I admire the planner in her. It makes sense to clear up any confusion and to avoid fights amongst family members by pre-labeling everything. Of course, by using sticky notes she does run the risk of label-switching by a family member who maybe had no interest in the lamp, but loves the cookie jar. Plus it must make holidays awkward when a family member drops their napkin and in picking it up sees a sticky note attached to the underside of the 100 year old family heirloom table that assigns ultimate rights to it to another family member that they deem less worthy.
I think her time would have been better spent creating a list of the items and writing folks names next to the items she wanted them to have. That way the surprise of who gets what can wait until after she is gone. It is a much better anticipation builder and think of the money she’ll save on sticky notes. I think my children will be fine in this area whether I create a list or not. They may have to negotiate over a few things, but likely they will give most things to charity and only keep a few choice items.
The one thing I have though that I want to mark to be absolutely sure that it goes to the right person is something near and dear to my heart – my blog. The children won’t want the blog itself, although they may retain the collected writings. I have thought long and hard about who should get my blog when I die…who should carry on the pondering and the irreverence and the humor? I ran through a couple of dozen possible names in my head yet none seemed exactly right. I concluded that who to bequeath a blog to is no easy decision. I kept thinking about how much of myself I had put into this blog – how could I be sure that the person I left it to would carry it forward?
Then it came to me – the perfect solution to my bequeathing quandary – I will give it to the folks who regularly comment on my blog. The regular commenters are insightful, thoughtful, loyal and damn funny…and let’s face it, they are the ones that make the blog so much of what it is.
So consider this your sticky note loyal commenters – when I go this baby is all yours. I hope that knowing that my blog will live on through you makes you happy…just don’t look under the kitchen table.
Day five hundred and seventy-four of the new forty – obla di obla da