According to Albert Einstein the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Let me just own my madness at the outset – I am, by definition, insane.
Case in point, I am not the best person when it comes to dealing with disruption. I know this about myself. I have always known this about myself. In disruption I seek to create order. I am good at the creation of order and as such I don’t fear short-term disruption – with the operative term being “short-term”.
However, it has been a real strain on my psyche to live with the continued disruption that the lower level repairs have necessitated. I coped okay in the beginning having mentally set my mind to the reality that it was only a short-term situation. Then the days and weeks stretched to months and the whole thing started to wear on me.
Long before the whole thing started to wear on me though I decided that it made perfect sense to abut some main level improvements (the kitchen, dining, entry areas) to the lower level repair process (consolidating the disruption just made good sense – which was still in my short-term frame). It started with just new floors and then before you know it there were new cabinets, a new counter-top, a new sink and faucet, new moulding and casing, new doors, new light fixtures, new appliances, new throw rugs, etc., etc. – ARRGHHHH.
Well, five months after the flooding event we are at about 95% on the lower level and we should be at about 50% on the main level after today. The whole notion that the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight should come into play here, but as much as I want to go toward the light I can’t get to it because of the piles of stuff that are now displaced from the main level to the lower and upper levels.
This state of affairs is why time spent away from home offers such a high level of wabi sabi comfort…something about things being out-of-sight (and out-of-site) equaling being out-of-mind. But really, let’s talk out-of-mind…what the hell was I thinking? I must have been out-of-my-mind when I conceived this home improvement schedule. Now I am fatigued of the process, stressed about the level of disruption and hyper-sensitive to hearing about any glitch in the process however small it may be (and everyone knows that every improvement process is rife with glitches).
Yet, having said all the above, when the floor guy was here yesterday amongst all the chaos I was discussing with him the improvements I plan on doing to the upper level over the next month or two (during the height of flood season – sure why not?). Floors and doors and moulding and casing and a bathroom remodel – my goodness I am stark raving mad. I want to go toward the light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot seem to stay focused long enough to get there. Perhaps the key improvement I need at this point is in the form of a white jacket with straps and some duct tape over my mouth…perhaps then the madness will end. Until then you will find me knee deep in piles of household stuff, construction materials and catalogs babbling quietly to myself about the utility of getting it all done at the same time.
Day five hundred and ninety-four of the new forty – obla di obla da