I have been suffering with a general malaise since Monday which has resulted in an overall state of lethargy and sporadic bouts of extreme crabbiness. I had been assuming that the root of my crabbiness was exhaustion or the outgrowth of doing too much or my frustration with the never-ending discussion in the media of that buffoon Charlie Sheen or simply an extension of my bad attitude about the weather, but now I am fairly sure it is none of those reasons (although they are all valid reasons for crabbiness). I am now under the impression that I have attracted some lovely bug that is determined to have its way with me.
I am not a happy sick person. I begrudge illness. Illness does not produce the loveliest version of me…indeed, it darn near guarantees my inner crabby persona will emerge in its full splendor.
I envision my inner crabby persona to be Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip. Lucy’s crabby is not an intermittent emotion – it is static and enduring. Lucy is the epitome of crabby. Her commitment to crabbiness shuts out almost every other interpretation of life events other than one that is imprinted with a frown. That is the real crabby my friends – it is a lens by which one sees the world, not a temporary framework.
A word of warning today – I am channeling Lucy. I don’t have the stamina to keep it up for too long – those frown lines require an awful lot of expensive facial potions (or even more expensive plastic surgery) to hide and I just don’t have that kind of money. So, in the interest of vanity and frugality I will limit my crabbiness to being a temporary framework. But note, crabbiness without apology- however short its duration – is something most folks who have their wits about them want to avoid.
So, approach with caution today…especially if you look like Charlie Brown or Charlie Sheen…it could get really ugly.
Day six hundred and thirteen of the new forty – obla di obla da