Bogie loved me best.

It is a sad day here.  This morning after jumping up behind me on my desk chair and giving me one of his paw over my shoulders hugs, my loyal cat Bogie went upstairs under my bed and died.

I knew that something was horribly wrong about fifteen minutes after the hug when I called him and he didn’t come.  Bogie always came when I called – he was like a dog in that way – he was tuned into me and incredibly loyal.  It drove the kids crazy because Bogie would only half-way listen to them and would only allow them to pet him when I wasn’t around.  He was,  without question, my cat…which in this household was an anomaly.  I have had many pets over the years -  as the child of my parents and as the parent of my children.  Of those many creatures, I have rarely been the primary focus of attention.  Often I was a distant second in line after my mom or after one of the kids.  Not that I loved any of them less for that – I understood that…and the fact that I wasn’t their primary person  didn’t cause me to miss them any less when they were gone.  That is the thing about furry, feathered and scaled family members -  they come in to your life, do some damage to your home, your possessions and your nerves and somehow in the process leave an indelible mark on your heart – then they die and you wonder how you ever lived without the joy they brought into your life.

Bogie loved me best.  That was a fact.  Perhaps it was because I was the one who went to the Humane Society and adopted him a couple of years back.  At the time he had already passed the young kitten stage and I knew that his odds of being adopted as he became a teenager were decreasing.  I watched the Humane Society web page for weeks and every week as others would go, he remained.  So I got it in my head that he belonged with us  and I went through the process to adopt him.

As you can see from his photo that was on the Humane Society’s web page it wasn’t too tough to love him. Of note, he never did grow into those ears (as you can see from the photo below taken in September of this past year).

It took Bogie awhile to adjust to our house, but once he acclimated to the environment he pretty much owned the joint.  When I was at home he was typically in close proximity.  He loved attention – my attention – and he wasn’t bashful in seeking it.  He would follow me into the bathroom, if need be, to get his requisite love and attention.

I have had to part with many pets over the years, but few have been lost so abruptly as Bogie.  I expected to have Bogie with me for at least another decade – he was, after all, at most three years old – indeed – only three years old.  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and while it is true that I may never have been really “ready” – perhaps I would have felt less cheated if his time with me had been longer.  I expected more days with him…I expected to be able to sit in the chair relaxing this summer with him laying across my lap…I expected to have him continue as our personal furminator for years to come (see She Who Wants to Nap…).  Bogie was a seemingly healthy cat – I never had cause to worry about him.

Based on his behavior before his death and the immediacy of his death to otherwise healthy behavior we think he had a stroke or a heart attack.  But I can’t help but think he knew this was coming.  It all goes back to that hug – he rarely does that in the morning (indeed, I can’t ever recall it happening before) – typically that is a later in the day behavior after he has run off all his excess energy.

I know that Bogie was (as so many folks will remind me) “just a cat” and I recognize that the loss of pets is not the same as the loss of people; but today I mourn the friendship and the loyalty and the unwavering love that he gave me over his short couple of years with us. I cannot express to you how much I will miss him and today I am finding it difficult to get a grasp on the reality that he is suddenly gone.  It weighs heavy on my heart and I do believe I will struggle with the loss for awhile because no other cat has loved me like Bogie did and I will miss that so very much.

We’ll miss you Bogie-liscious – you were truly one of a kind.  I hope that you knew how special you were around here and how sad I am that you left us so soon…but I am grateful for what you gave me…especially that last hug…farewell my loyal friend.

Day six hundred and fourteen of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C

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About Ms. C

I teach at NDSU...but I remain a student of life with all the enthusiasm that entails. My favorite saying is, "Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down." In the new forty that is what I am doing...building my wings.
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7 Responses to Bogie loved me best.

  1. Miki T-B says:

    My condolences on the loss of your cat. We’ve had our own loss of two cats over the past twenty years and will someday soon be mourning the loss of a third one–she’s over 19-1/2 years old, still “kicking” so to speak but definitely coming to the end of her life and I’m dreading her going…she’s a real “mama’s girl”. We will still have our fourth cat who’s only 10-1/2. No pet is “just an animal”; each one is a member of the family, even if it has four legs. And thank you for giving a shelter cat a happy and loving home.

  2. Michael Ray says:

    Oh, do I know this feeling… My wife and I lost our “child” (the word cat does not cover it) last Memorial Day weekend. It was a bitter pill to swallow. While a pet can not contain DNA links to you somehow there is a fifth dimension that they weave throughout your very being. You are a better person for having known them, rather than the other way around.

    I have no magical advice. No remedy for the tears now and the eventual smiles to come by memories. You’ll see Bogie in dreams or out of the corner of your eye. Thank you for the love you gave and continue to give. Your reward awaits.

  3. Avatar of Omega-X Omega-X says:

    Sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing. Your story server as a reminder that just because they’re here, now, doesn’t mean they will be tomorrow. That goes for the pets and people in our lives. I woke my tabby from a nap just to scratch him behind the ears, and made a few phone calls today.

  4. JGM says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your comment that this death is not of a person but an animal hit rather close to home. People who are not pet lovers simply don’t understand and for them we always make that comment– as we tend to feel a bit guilty for grieving over a pet’s death. George Carlin during one of his stand-up routines called pets, little tragedies. And they are in a way– we love them and they love us back unconditionally only to leave us through death as their life spans are so much shorter than ours. I have been heartbroken over the loss of many pets in my lifetime and though with every new one, I know that I will be hopelessly heartbroken again when that inevitable time comes once again, I keep getting new ones because they add such happiness and value in my life and that of my family’s.

    I am shedding a few tears with you because I know exactly how you feel and my heart just broke a little reading your post today. Three years for a cat is much too short and both you and Bogie were cheated. But such is life and unfortunately there is nothing to do that will change things. Grieve and remember the joy that little bundle brought to your life the last few months. Bogie did not suffer and died quickly which is in a way a small comfort. Taking a terminal and suffering pet to the vet for euthanization is very, very difficult– so take some small relief in the fact that the choice was not in your hands this time.

    Believe it or not, each day is a bit easier and for me eventually I get a new dog or cat. They never replace their predecessors because each little furball is as individual and different as each person is. My thoughts are with you. Remember all the good things Bogie brought to you– you will always have those memories even though Bogie is no longer.

    Jan

  5. Avatar of stormchaser stormchaser says:

    Awwww I’m so sorry! I lost my cat about 5 years ago. I had him since I was 4. He was very old and sickly. He had a seizure and died in my moms arms. I cried for weeks strait, and I still cry when I think about him (Like now for example). Loosing a pet is like loosing a child in a sense: you raise them, you feed them, you groom them, and you love them. Again, I’m so very sorry!! <3

  6. Avatar of Jeff H Jeff H says:

    My Condolences for your loss.
    I too have lost a friend about 15 years ago. Reefer the Cat. She was 20 years old-1976-1996. She couldn’t get all the way into her litter box at the end and I knew it was time. I said good bye to her and a friend brought her in to be put to sleep-I just couldn’t do it. I have her buried in my back yard and still think of her often. I only went a month or so before I too went to the shelter and got Cheeto’s. They all truly have their own personality and I love Cheetos just the same as I loved Reefer. I think George Carlin was right.

  7. Avatar of jimlindlauf jimlindlauf says:

    They may be “only pets” but we do love them dearly!

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