Today my oldest child turned 30. Tomorrow we will have a party to celebrate those 30 years. I decided somewhat at the last hour (as in about an actual hour ago) that it would be nice to have a memory scrapbook for the party. So that means in addition to gathering all the proper scrapbooking materials the boxes of photos needed to come out.
Well, an hour later and all I have managed to do thus far is meander down memory lane and grow a little sad that I can’t revisit those points in time captured in the photos. The time we have with our children goes so quickly. It doesn’t seem like it at times, but you turn around one day and they are all grown up.
When you have a newborn it is hard to imagine birthdays that are decades away. You look forward to babbling, crawling, walking and talking…and then you look forward to other milestones…you always look forward. Of course that is the way of life. We look forward to the future…we look forward to growth…we look forward to what will be.
But today I find myself remembering what was and wishing that I had stopped for a bit longer at some of the points when I was looking forward. Life doesn’t have a rewind button unfortunately, all we can do is look at snapshots and other memories and revisit the memories in our mind’s eye. The days, they pass; but the heart, it lingers.
Happy birthday daughter. In the future I will look back at the celebration of your 30th birthday and remember that I stood in the moment knowing full well that there were no rewinds and hence lived it as if it would never come again.
Day seven hundred and ten of the new forty – obla di obla da