My daughter Sarah turned 30 on June 16th. There was a party to celebrate her birthday and I made a memory album that her guests could look at and sign. It took all I had to get that album done. First I got lost in reminiscing and then it was a matter of finding the time to get it all pulled together with my limited scrapbooking skills. It was a feat to be sure.
The birthday and the making of the memory book caused me to reflect all the way back to her birth – wherein I swore after a day and half of labor with no pain medicine that I was having no more children. My dad reminds me of that all the time. I find it amazing that he remembers that moment in time as well as I do. Albeit, for different reasons – he laughed and I swore.
I did do it again though – and again and again. Truth be told I would have a dozen more children if I could (and if epidurals were readily available). Yet, every time I say that out loud the kids shake their heads in disapproval and tell me that behavior like that will land me in the old folks home sooner rather than later…so I say it less and less.
When I look at Sarah at age 30 I am reminded how different her life is at this age than mine was. At the tender age of 30, I had three kids aged 8, 7, and 1 and was already in my second marriage living the life of a happy go-lucky stay at home mom. My life changed dramatically a few years after that, but at age 30 my view of life was a fairly simplistic one. I had no real education beyond high school and no aspirations to be anything more than what I already was.
Sarah’s life at age 30 is much different. She finished her degree long ago, is not married (but has been in a long-term committed relationship) and has no children (but I am proud to report that I have two grand dogs – Marley and Lucy). She is always looking to push her life upward and is well-grounded in both what she wants and what she believes she needs to contribute to the world.
I wish selfishly that she would have children sometime soon, but other than that I have to say she seems to be much better versed in herself than I was at that age. I surmise that is as it should be. We always hope for more for our children than we have had – that is what we hope our experiences and hard work will end in – more opportunity for them. So, all-in-all, the differences between my daughter and me at age 30 are a byproduct of the evolution I sought.
Sarah and I holding her memory album
Now as for comparing her age 40 in ten years to my age 40 – well, let’s hope the evolutionary jump she has already evidenced continues upward. I am pretty sure my progression from age 30 to 40 has all the characteristics of a missing evolutionary link. At 40 I would sure like to have her be the stay-at-home mom with children ages 8, 7 and 1. Sometimes the evolution we hope for our children isn’t always about what happens, but when it happens.
Day seven hundred and twenty-two of the new forty – obla di obla da