You may recall that I am embracing my newly diagnosed adult onset dyslexia. As such, I am thoroughly enjoying my first days in my 25th year. However a puzzling question was posed to me the other day – one I did not have a ready answer to. The question was, “If you are a dyslexic cougar are you still a cougar? Or are you dating older men?” I have had to reflect upon that question and still remain unsure, so I will share my thoughts on this and seek your opinions dear readers.
This whole discussion came about when I shared that I had raised the entry dating level in the little world I live in from 35 to 40. 35 was okay a couple years ago, but it was increasingly seeming too young. So my new baseline is 40 – plain and simple. 40 seems reasonable and still young enough to make me feel I haven’t entirely abandoned my cougar identity.
That is where the query came in. If I am 25 and I am dating someone 40 or older, am I not then dating an older man? Wow, this is an outgrowth of my newly diagnosed condition that I did not see coming. For years I have been solidly entrenched in my cougar identity and wham, bam, thank you ma’am, I am now dating older men?? How can this be??
I guess the real issue is whether a cougar is attributed the label based on her own perception or the world’s perception. I think it is the world who labels the cougar, not the cougar herself. However, I do believe that once the label is applied there is a process of acceptance and a sense of liberation that comes with it. Cougars may be reviled by some, but most men love them and most women can acknowledge the glee that can go along with being one (even if they would not choose it for themselves). To be given the license to be a cougar by the world is to allow a woman the freedom to step outside more puritan boundaries about age expectations – it is an acknowledgement that all things in life (particularly attraction) are not black and white. So from where I stand it is the world’s perception that provides the label and the labeled cougar that more emphatically embraces the lifestyle and comes to embody the percption. It is almost a chicken and egg discussion – but let’s not move from big cats to poultry. The point is the identity is likely a product of both the world’s and the woman’s perception.
As such, I am forced at this juncture to ask myself how important that identity – the cougar identity – is to me. I have to say, I don’t like this wrinkle in the fabric of time. My adult onset dyslexia was all well and fine when it was so abashedly accruing to my benefit; but, it is now affecting my dating world in a way that is quite foreign to me. I am feeling a bit traumatized.
Oh wait, you say there is a specialist who can cure me of my adult onset dyslexia? He is charming, dashing, and has the body of an Adonis – and he makes house calls – you don’t say?! He is how old? 35 you say? Well for heaven’s sake – send him over. This is a crisis…maybe if he lays hands on me like those preachers do at church I’ll be cured. Honestly, I am feeling better already just thinking about the cure – but tell him to hurry before I get too excited, pass out and need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Alright, clearly I am cured and my label is intact. 😉
Day seven hundred and thirty-six of the new forty – obla di obla da