When I hear of products that produce “a warming sensation” – I can’t help but smirk a bit. I like that phrase and as a woman in the new forty I can appreciate the phrase’s potential for alternate use…particularly here in the Midwest.
Midwesterners are a fairly polite lot – they are not inclined to effusively share intimate details of their lives. For example, in polite Midwestern conversation you don’t typically hear women going on about the joys of menopause; oh, no – listen for the phrase “change of life” coupled with knowing, but largely unspoken, acknowledgements from the women around them. You are not likely to hear a Midwestern woman in the “change of life” cussing a blue streak about how she can’t remember sh*t , has mood swings that parallel the pendelum ride at the fair, and has rapidly descended into hot flash hell. Oh no, that just wouldn’t be civilized.
Yet, with the selection of polite phrases woman in the Midwest can still acknowledge these somewhat challenging changes without betraying their Midwest sensibilities or scarring others’ psyches. So, “can’t remember sh*t” becomes “slight cognitive malfunction”, “mood swings” become “rapid emotional diversions”, and a hot flash can be labeled “a warming sensation” – and not a single cuss word need be uttered because all women who have experienced these things know that the cussing can be inferred.
So the next time you run across a product that produces “a warming sensation” remember what that could mean in polite Midwestern woman speak; and men, don’t assume she is talking about anything else, lest you want to be exposed to a “rapid emotional diversion”.
Day eight hundred and nineteen of the new forty – obla di obla da