Mike asked me this morning if I thought I was addicted to coffee. An interesting question I thought as upon my recent return from Canada I was greeted by a lovely bright flower arrangement set in a coffee cup (as opposed to a vase). I thought at the time, “This man understands me – he gets the things I like – bright cheery flowers and coffee.” His capital jumped exponentially with that thought.
Then he asks me today if I am addicted to coffee. Hello! Have you met me? Have you seen my death grip on my coffee cup in the morning? It is as if I am Gollum in The Lord of the Rings uttering, “My Precious.”
Yes! I am addicted to coffee my dear man. It is the elixir that takes the me that awakes in the morning and makes me human. It is the key component in the taming of the shrew. It is the difference between a warm and cordial morning greeting and a snarling and snippy one. It is a crucial component in my ability to be alert, gracious and operational.
So, yes darling, you are right to ask if I am addicted to coffee – indeed I am. If you love me, you will support this addiction and allow me to go back and forth from the coffemaker without incident. It is in the understanding that some things are meant to be left alone that you will prove that you understand that I am a perfectly imperfect person and love me as I am – with my coffee cup in hand.
And so you know, it wouldn’t be prudent to ask me which I love more – you or my coffee. I will of course say that I love you more, but absent coffee I will say it in a snarling and snippy way.
In regard to me and my coffee addiction it is important to review the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Have the wisdom to know that my coffee addiction will not change and should not change so that we (me, you and every other human who interacts with me) can all live a more peaceful, stress-free existence.
The good news is, I will now be able to drink my elixir from the coffee cup the flowers came in – an homage to my appreciation that you understand the importance of coffee in my world.
I love you more than my coffee Michael and I say that with full cheer and warmth (of course, I have already had my coffee this morning).
Day eight hundred and twenty-eight of the new forty – obla di obla da