WebMD -one of my favorite sites for health and medical information – is drilling down to the really important discussions of the holiday. They pose a critical question for our times on their site that I want to share with you who believe healthy living is the way to go. They ask, “How healthy is Santa?”
Well, this is huge. After all, we are all pretty invested in the big guy in the red suit. I think we all want him to be as healthy as possible, but criminy – look at him – he has some serious belly fat. We know that isn’t good. Plus he eats all those cookies and lugs around an awfully heavy sack. And what of the stress of delivering to all those homes in one night?? I must say, it doesn’t look good.
I, for one, was anxious to see the level of investigative reporting WebMD had conducted on the topic. I imagined they would have all the resident health and exercise gurus quoted…that Richard Simmons would design a special Santa workout video…that Dr. Oz would talk about his heart health…that Jillian Michaels would call him a tub-o-lard and offer to abuse him in the gym…that Jenny Craig would enlist him as her next spokesperson…yes, I anticipated the exposé of all exposés…the smackdown of all smackdowns.
Well, I must say…it wasn’t as hard-hitting as I had hoped. I leave it to you to decide if their assessment was all that it could have been – WebMD’s Assessment of Santa’s Health. Frankly, it left me wanting more. Does anyone have Jillian Michaels number? I think she could perhaps handle this whole Santa health thing more efficiently and effectively…after all, we have less than two weeks! I know – let’s have a special holiday edition of the Biggest Loser! A Santa’s Bootcamp!!!! Imagine the ratings!!!! Hurry – call NBC!!!!
P.S. Not that I think you are fat Santa – I still love you lots…and I still want that pony…and I have been relatively good.
Day eight hundred and eighty-nine of the new forty – obla di obla da