The cartoon reminded me that in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I had yet to write my letter to Santa. Oh my! A year without a letter to Santa? That will never do…we are longtime holiday pen pals from back in the day.
There was a time when my letter to Santa went pretty much like the song Santa Baby - but over the years I have become a bit more reasonable in my requests of dear ol’ Saint Nick. I know he has a lot of requests and I long ago moved away from the notion that wearing real fur was fashionable…but I confess, the light blue 54 convertible has never really lost its appeal. No matter how old I get, I never miss an opportunity to put in my wish list with my jolly benefactor – even when I know it is improbable that I will get anything more than coal in my stocking.
So here it goes…my 2011 letter to Santa:
It has been awhile since I have corresponded with you. I know that last year I promised that I would be better about keeping in touch and I vowed that I would make a point of having lunch with you at least every few months so we could keep abreast of each other’s lives. But it has been a fairly hectic year. Time got away from me.
Of course, you are aware of all the things I have been up to – you have the uncanny ability to know whether I have been bad or good. I just wish you could better appreciate the goodness of my intentions as they applied to aforethought on some deeds. I always intended to be good.
Alas, sometimes things went South this past year despite my best intentions. I take full responsibility for those times – all 27. I know that I am far from perfect, but as we have discussed at great length in the past – I do try to be a good citizen.
I learned some things this year – about myself, about life – important things. The things I have learned have been enlightening…I do believe I have grown as a person. It has been challenging at times, but invigorating. There is something almost intoxicating about discovering that life still has so much for you to experience even after a handful of decades on the planet.
So this year, unlike other years, I will not be asking for stuff like a pony, a trip to Greece, a Nissan Z, a male exotic dancer, a winning multi-million dollar lottery ticket, a big diamond ring or other such things. This year I just want one thing – another year. I want another year to grow and experience life…another year of good intentions and a couple dozen naughty notations on my record…another magical year on the planet Earth.
Yes, I know that is a bit beyond what you and the elves typically make in that workshop of yours. I realize that you may be well-loved, jolly and incredibly revered, but that you are not God. But you have some powerful influence. So put in a good word for me to the universe if you could – let it be known that I realize that every day we get with the folks we love, doing the things that make us happy is a gift. I will make good use of those days – even without the pony or big diamond ring (although, if you have either hanging around, feel free to drop it over on Christmas Eve – I did, after all, bring my naughty count down by over 50% this year).
And let’s plan to get together regularly next year. Perhaps you’d like to go to a conference or two with me, that way you could see firsthand how my good intentions have a way of going South. Maybe once you understand how hard I try to be good you’ll finally bring me that Nissan Z I have been asking for all these years…or maybe you’ll just keep encouraging the universe to give me more years so the elves have something to laugh about around the water cooler. Either way – I’m good (well, in a manner of speaking).
Your favorite inadvertent troublemaker in West Fargo
Day eight hundred and ninety-six of the new forty – obla di obla da