Folks have long speculated about the existence of Sasquatch. There have been sightings all over the world. There are groups of believers who hold firm that Sasquatch exist, while others dismiss the whole notion of the half human/half ape creature as misidentifications or hoaxes.
I must admit, as much as I liked the movie Harry and the Hendersons I find it difficult to believe that a giant half man/half ape creature could escape being captured in even one good photo all these years – I mean really? Have you met any of the photographers from National Geographic who go to places where civilization never sets foot to get photographs of rare creatures and birds? Surely, these folks would have captured beautiful photos of the creature in his (her?) natural habitat after all these years. As such, I have leaned toward the non-believer column for years now. Until recently – when I solved the great mystery of Sasquatch.
It came to me in a flash of insight as I took a good look at myself in the mirror after a morning of lounging in my fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants with the cats. Sasquatch isn’t a half man/half ape – what folks have seen is a person who has overly affectionate shedding cats and clothing that attracts hair. I am fairly sure that had their been a camera in reach that morning there would have been another Sasquatch sighting added to the collection. I am telling you folks – not flattering, but true.
Luckily, I own lint rollers – lots of them. So you have to hit this house at exactly the right time, when I am in the right clothing and have been adequately loved by the cats to possibly catch a glimpse of this elusive Sasquatch. I suspect I am not alone in my interspecies look either – I bet plenty of folks have Sasquatch moments. So now you know…the mystery is solved. I have seen Sasquatch – and she is me – a well-loved, fuzzy pant pajama wearing, pre-lint-rolled me.
Sorry to burst your bubble believers…perhaps you should get yourself some fuzzy pajama pants and lovable cats…then you can keep the dream alive.
Day nine hundred and fifty-nine of the new forty – obla di obla