Whoa! Stop the presses! A new survey revealed that 21% of Americans would give up sex for a whole year ( yes, 365 days) to keep their Internet access.
Fellow Americans, something has gone horribly awry in our country. One fifth of you would chose accessing information and communicating over the internet over sex. Someone get Dr. Ruth on the phone – clearly our country is in need of a sex intervention.
Who are these folks in the 21%? What is their age demographic? Were they in prison? Have they ever had sex? Do they have any clue what they would be missing? Who agrees to such a thing?
Did anyone bother to ask these folks in the 21% if they have ever experienced sex? And if so, did they find it satisfying? I think these are fundamental questions to ask before asking if folks would give up sex to keep Internet access. Perhaps the 21% cannot fully appreciate what they are willing to give up.
Has anyone gotten Dr. Ruth on the phone yet? This percentage – one fifth of Americans – scares me. It causes me to question where we are going as a country. Whatever happened to Love American Style? Whatever happened to free love or sex, drugs and rock and roll? Whatever happened to the whole notion that sex is good for your health and happiness?
The rest of us (the 79%) need to have a sit down with the 21% and talk some sense into them. If they are willing to go without sex for a year to keep the Internet they need to hear a lot more about the benefits of good sex. Trust me 21%-ers, there is nothing on the Internet – NOTHING – worth giving up sex for a year. And if you don’t believe me, ask Dr. Ruth. Better yet, get off the Internet and spend some time having sex.
Day nine hundred and ninety-four of the new forty – obla di obla da