Fifi of LoveFifi.com got my attention with one of her marketing emails again. This time it was her way with words – or not.
40% Off Our AMAZING Figure Sucker-Inner! Small-3X!
Sucker-Inner? Who are you and what have you done with my Fifi??!!
Fifi would never speak so plainly about one of her life-changing products. She would say something like:
Put Your Curves in Perspective and Save 40%!
Embrace Your Inner Curvaliscious Goddess!
More Curves than a Road in the Hills of Tuscany and Twice the Scenery!
Your Main Squeeze – 40% off!
Up, Up and Away – Put Those Curves Where They Belong!
You get the picture – Fifi is a creative marketing genius. I have written of her prowess many times in The New Forty. Fifi doesn’t market “sucker-inners” – seriously, who does that?
Clearly, Fifi is being held hostage somewhere against her will. Send a ransom note already – we know you have her! We’ll meet your demands – thigh highs, thongs, teddies, maybe even an amazing figure ”sucker-inner” - whatever it takes to get Fifi home safe and sound. 
Day one thousand and eighty-one of the new forty – obla di obla da
Ms. C
If you made up those five alternative selling points, by gum, you’re all set for a lucrative job “on the side”. I was ready to buy whatever you were selling!