Okay – so my left shift key is not working all that well lately and some of my other keys seem to be sticking. I knew I shouldn’t have tried to eat those honey-roasted almonds while typing…multi-tasking is never as good in practice as it is in theory. Now every typing engagement is a challenge.
I am plagued with a lack of capitalization, ones (1) masquerading as exclamation points, random missing letters (e.g., hat instead of that, hole instead of whole, sit instead of site, etc. ), and plus signs (+) that are equals (=). As if my writing needed additional maladies. As it is, I am chagrined in perpetuity at the fact that every single blog entry I write has one or more errors that I tend to not catch until days (and sometimes months) later. With a brain that moves more quickly than my fingers I often inadvertently omit words, or redo a sentence without deleting all the words in the original thought.
Over time I have just had to embrace the fact that my perfectly imperfect persona is wholly apparent in the writing on my blog. I do blog daily an average of 500 words a day and that leaves plenty of room for omissions and mistakes. I hopefully catch these errors sooner or later, but with over a thousand blog entries I have no doubt that there are still many of them out there. Knowing that serves as an irritation to me which is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard.
When you toss in the whole mush for brains that perimenopause visits upon women of a certain age (women of my age in particular), it is a wonder that I can string together more than five words at time. I used to be able to articulate my thoughts without searching the entirety of my mental rolodex repeatedly. These days my vocabulary sloshes in and out of the mush without rhyme or reason and I actually find myself at a loss for words – not because I have none, just because I can’t find them in my brain. Oh how I love perimenopause…for that experience I have plenty of words – mostly four letter ones.
Now, in addition to my original failings I am saddled with my unfortunate keyboard malfunction which slows my two finger hunt and peck typing skills to about ten words a minute. I must constantly check to make sure that what I think I typed is what I ended up with. It challenges my patience to be even more slow and remedial than normal.
There is a lesson in this whole hot mess (or as it said before I corrected it – in his hole ho mess)…perimenopausal women with mush brains who already make enough mistakes should not attempt to eat honey-roasted almonds while typing on their computer. I guess if I cannot serve as a good example, I will have to settle for serving as a horrible warning.
Day one thousand one hundred and forty-six of the new forty – obla di obla da