It was established on my first trip to Canada with Noah that he is an “Oprah” and I am a “Gayle” - as he assumes the role of diva and I assume the role of friendly, happy-go-lucky traveler. He complains, gripes, sighs heavily, and rolls his eyes. I smile, chat, laugh, engage, and enjoy other people. The differences between us in Canada travel mode is dramatic and causes one of us a lot of frustration, but not me because in Canada, I am Gayle.
This is the first time the entire family has accompanied us on an Oprah and Gayle adventure. The rest of the family – thankfully – leans toward more balanced Gayle-like attitudes. Because let’s face it – there can only be one diva and we already have a big one in Oprah.
We rented two cars for this year’s “big adventure” – which already has become more of a misadventure. Sarah, Dusty, Lennon, and Cheyenne are in one car, and Mike, Cory, Oprah and I occupy the other. Of course I claimed the front passenger seat right out the gate. Oprah likes to have me close to advise his driving. Sure, he acts like he doesn’t need my assistance, but I know he does.
Oprah’s driving patience expires quickly. Oprah says it is the passengers in the car, particularly the one in the front seat, but I know that it is a function of his diva personality. Oprah often fails to see the joy that can be present even in the misadventures. Oprah is already having a very long week.
But even divas have their moments. Oprah had one with Cory and Dusty at the dock when they “allegedly” saw a gigantic spider. This spider was so large and shocking that Dusty tried to kill it with the oar in his hand, Cory screamed like a little girl, and Oprah moved in warp speed up the stairs from the dock to the cottage. To hear the stories of this encounter, you would have to believe that this spider was a species from outer space – so large and frightening that it was unlike anything these three men have ever seen before. I tried to get a clear description of the spider’s body and characteristics, but all the three can do is sputter over and over again about how horrible and horrifying a creature it was.
Here is what I think it was:
Here is the way one would imagine it from the description given to those who missed the whole event:
The big spider above is actually a sculpture in Ottawa, but it does seem to represent well the legend that was created out on the dock yesterday. Just another chapter in the latest misadventures of Oprah, Gayle, and Crew at the Murder House. Stay tuned – the week is young.
Day one thousand four hundred and sixty-two of the new forty – obla di obla da