Bad Citizen Mary…

I always try to be a good citizen.  I am not always 100% successful, but a sincere and determined effort typically gets me through.  In being a good citizen, I would never dream of trying to scare the living daylights out of my fellow conference roomie and then audio taping her reaction so it could be kept for posterity.  I also would not change my roomie’s phone wallpaper to a hideous image that reminded her of the fright she had been given or continue to re-create the fright moment again and again. Good citizens simply do not do such things.

But not everyone is a good citizen.  In fact, some folks relish being a bad citizen.  Folks like Mary.  She delights in pulling pranks on me.  She lives for her victim’s reaction.  And I, as the victim, always react.

Over the years I have tried to chastise her into reforming her prankster ways.  My efforts have fallen on deaf ears.  She has not been dissuaded whatsoever – indeed, every year she ups her game.

You might be inclined to ask why I continue to room with such a prankster…why would I continually expose myself to this?  I am wondering that myself this morning after Mary placed a giant, hideous, squeeky rat in the shower for me to happen upon.  And when I screeched a blue streak she did as any bad citizen of her caliber would do and taped my reaction and replayed it over and over.  When I finally calmed myself enough to take a shower, Mary took the opportunity to change the wallpaper on my phone to a photo of the hideous rat’s face. Then, when I was doing something else she placed the rat on the bathroom vanity where I would encounter him again.

That was bad Mary.  Scaring your roomie – every single year in new and unique ways – is wrong.  You are being a bad citizen.  You really need to reform your behavior on this front.  And I am sure you will consider my request for all of five seconds – right after you get done laughing about this current prank.  Every time I pull back a shower curtain I will be re-living this. I am sending you the therapist’s bill. Bad citizen Mary – bad citizen!

Day one thousand two hundred and fourteen of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C

4 Responses

  1. PrairieWoman

    Um, Mary, if you are reading this, could you post a link to where one might listen to said reaction? Hysterical! You gotta love fun-lovin’ roomies!

  2. tim haering

    “And who would steal the candy
    from a laughing baby’s mouth,
    if she could take it from the money man.
    Cross-eyed Mary goes jumping in again.
    She signs no contract, but she always plays the game.”

    Tull lyrics often as enigmatic as Lennon. Isn’t it good, Norwegian wood?

    Behind every bully is another bully. It’s a merciless bucket brigade. Sorry you got doused. Putting out fire with gasoline, putting out fire … With gas-o-line. Bowie lyrics are pretty crunchy too.

    NOw I’m confused. Top 3 comments make it sound like good clean fun. Wouldn’t be my first over-reaction. I assume you lived, as you’ve blogged it. Lesson learned, eh? BUt keeping your guard up exhausts your shoulders and exposes your mid-section. Head down, elbows close. IN the clearing stands a boxer …

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