I try and keep it clean on The New Forty. And by clean, I mean I try not to use some of the colorful language I might use to emphasize a point because I recognize that people may happen upon my blog that do not appreciate such language. Especially the “F” word – which remains a vulgar word to a decent chunk of folks. But some days, in some situations, there is no replacement for the “F” word. My new reader-friendly approach to this situation is to use “Eff” in lieu of the “F” work – hence the title of this blog.
I imagine your next question is – “Who the heck is Lookadoo?”
Well, let me tell you. Justin Lookadoo is a “motivational” speaker that was brought into Richardson High School in Richardson, Texas to do a presentation on what makes young men and young women more or less “dateable” (Lookadoo’s terms, not mine).
Lookadoo’s site – R U Dateable? – tells young women and men how they can be more dateable. Well, sort of. Mostly it tells young women how to be more dateable. The site features both a girls and a boys Are You Dateable? quiz as well as rules for better dateability.
I went through both the girls and boys quizzes. The quiz for girls has 11 questions and the quiz for boys has 8 questions. I answered them both with all “True” answers and I got the following responses:
I then took the quizzes again. I answered them both with all “False” answers and I got the following responses:
The site also offers tips for dateable girls and boys.
I find the site, the quizzes, and the tips offensive on a number of fronts – even if they were created with good intentions, they are misogynistic and troubling. They have dated stereotypes imbedded in them and they try and elevate the message by adding God to the mix. Give me and God a break Lookadoo.
I had never heard of Lookadoo before today. I learned about him from an article that an NDSU colleague posted on Facebook. Here is an excerpt:
At a PTA-sponsored assembly yesterday afternoon, Richardson High School students were taught a very important, very timely lesson: If a girl wants to be dateable, she needs to know when to shut up.
That’s the advice imparted to the kids of Richardson, Texas, by faith-based dating guru and motivational speaker Justin Lookadoo — co-author of Dateable: are you? are they? and The Dateable Rules.
“Dateable girls know how to shut up,” the site actually says. “They don’t monopolize the conversation. They don’t tell everyone everything about themselves. They save some for later. They listen more than they gab.”
Other things “dateable girls” are: “soft,” “gentle” and “needy.”
Meanwhile, “dateable boys” are “wild,” “fearless” and “Godly”:
Dateable guys know they aren’t as sensitive as girls, and that’s okay. They know they are stronger, more dangerous, and more adventurous, and that’s okay. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys.
“I am extremely troubled by the fact that Richardson High School would bring in an ‘expert’ speaker who holds the dangerous, misogynistic views that advance a rape culture such as those expressed on his website,” Dr. Jaime Clark-Soles, an RHS parent, told the Dallas Observer.
She was joined by a large number of students, who took to Twitter to rechristen Lookadoo #lookadouche.
“Walking out,” tweeted student Aisleen Menezes. “I refuse to listen to the enforcement of stereotypes and gender roles.”
And so I say today as a woman and as the mother of two daughters – eff you Lookadoo! How can you in this day and age peddle this crap? Have you taken your own quiz? Are you datable?
I took your quiz. Guess what – I am not datable. I am pretty sure you cannot imagine how happy I am about that.
Day one thousand two hundred and thirty-one of the new forty – obla di obla da