One Poorly Placed Flag Could Start An International Incident…

I like the shopping site nomorerack.com quite a bit.  I think they have some good deals there and I try and check in on the site about once a week to see what is new.  Their prices on items are typically discounted to the tune of 25%-70% off retail.  They have a limited number of the stock they have listed and when an item is sold out – its gone.  Saving money is a little hobby of mine, so I keep my eyes open for bargains at sites like this.

Today I ran across something at nomorerack that I simply must share with all of you – especially any leggings lovers out there.  I am not a leggings fan myself – that ship sailed in the early nineties after I saw photos of myself in leggings and could no longer delude myself into believing that they were even remotely flattering on me.  However, my daughter Cheyenne likes leggings and was just lamenting the other day that she needs some patterned leggings instead of the boring solid colored ones she has.  Being the good mommy I am, when I saw patterned leggings on nomorerack for $9 a pair I investigated on Cheyenne’s behalf.  After all, they are marked down 55%.  They were originally $20 a pair.

I must say, they have quite an assortment of patterns.  I looked at them all, but could not find a single one I could see Cheyenne wearing.  I did have thoughts about some of the patterns – particularly as a former wearer of leggings who appreciates how far wrong they can go on the right person.  I thought I just might share them here since some of you may never have the opportunity to see them otherwise.

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These checked ones make your fanny look like a checkerboard.  And not a small checkerboard I might add.  That is unsettling seeing as the model is clearly quite thin.  Can you imagine how a person with some serious booty would look in these?  I think they might be good as part of a costume on the right person, but I cannot see these being part of too many folks’ wardrobes.

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Aside from being primarily white, this pair adds the challenge of lines that will stretch disproportionately over some areas and create a much less attractive visual when some of the zigs completely lose their zag. Plus the lines do not match up from one side to the other which could cause folks to stare awkwardly at the lack of symmetry.

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You’ll note that they do not even show the model’s fanny in these.  That cannot be a good sign. Maybe these too would be good costume fare.  I guess it depends on the level to which you can maintain similar diamond sizes throughout the leggings. If I wore these diamonds on my fanny they would likely be stretched into clubs.

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I must say, in an ideal world I might think a few minutes about these.  They do have vertical lines which should be slimming.  But here again, no rear shot of the model and no chance to see what happens when those lines are expanded to different extents in one area or another.  Also, they kind of remind me of prison pants.  I think someone could pull these off in the real world if they had the thinnest of bodies and the tiniest of touches.

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I have to say, these two make me want to grab my markers and color them in like one of those doodle art posters.  Of course if I did, they would likely look like the pants below.

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I have only one word for these – WHY?

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I think there is something very wrong with having all these flags splashed across your body.  I worry – one poorly placed flag could start an international incident.

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Is it an optical illusion or did these pants make her fanny look bigger when you are staring at it?  Frankly, I get a little bit of a headache if I look too long at them.  Perhaps these are the things to wear to the date that your Great Aunt Janice set you up on that you are looking to end early.  You won’t be surprised when your date gets an unexplainable headache.

Well, there you have it, a glimpse at the patterned leggings on sale at nomorerack.  As I said, there are more options and they are only $9.  If you buy any of the above styles you simply must report back and send photos for all of us to see.   I know that at $9 they are kind to your bank account, but how will they treat your fanny, hips, and thighs?  And where will you wear them and with what?  Seriously – send photos. 😉

Day one thousand three hundred and thirty-five of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C

2 Responses

  1. tim haering

    I serioously liked the checkerboards, Ms. C. But you said you liked saving money. nomorerack sells stuff. YOU SAVE money by NOT SPENDING. So, if you like saving money, you won’t buy any of these, for sure.

    I think what you mean is that you like spending less than full price. I would just suggest to Cheyenne that she keep the flash of color and pattern upstairs. Patterns tend to distort trunks, so I pretty much agree with your mom.

    the county judge, held a grudge
    Will search for ever more.
    For the Band on the run
    Band on the run.

  2. Lucy

    These things still exist? Thank God that you didn’t purchase any for Cheyenne!! You definitely wouldn’t have won Mommy of the Year again. Talk about a fashion train wreck!

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