The Butt Of Jokes…

Well, it did not take long for the mosquitoes to settle in.  The transition from winter to mosquito season seemed pretty quick.  Is it too soon to ask when West Fargo is going to spray for mosquitoes?

Mosquitoes are the type of creature that I imagine no one likes – especially if you happen to be one of the folks that mosquitoes find irresistible.  I am one of those folks, and to add insult to injury I have no self-control when it comes to scratching. And I mean – NO SELF CONTROL.

Scratching is problematic as it makes the bites look an awful lot worse and only provides temporary relief.  I try and put the no itch cream on when I have it handy, but if it wears off once I am out and about I look like a dog with a flea infestation – scratching here, there, and everywhere frantically.  It is not attractive.

But I am here to tell you that there are levels of unattractiveness my friends.  Evidencing a lack of self-control while you scratch off the top three layers of skin on your arm is one thing, but all body parts are not equal.  I say this because the other day while bending over in my garden trying to extract some of the pesky weeds, I had my fanny perched in the air and a couple of mosquitoes (or one incredibly hungry one) saw that moment as a full meal deal waiting to happen.  I walked away with two mosquito bites on my butt.  Sure you can joke – I know it is ripe for comments – but note that what is not funny is seeing a woman in the new forty vigorously scratching her fanny.  And note, it is not attractive.

So, I am just saying – this is my current state West Fargo, perhaps you should think about spraying sooner rather than later.  If not then know what you may encounter – you have been warned.  There are things you cannot un-see you know – scarring things – things that could ruin your entire summer. Spray soon – spray often.    😉

Day one thousand four hundred and twenty-one of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C

1 Response

  1. tim haering

    Ms. C, I bet it’s times like this that you wish you were back in semi-arid California. I’ve lived here in the East Bay area for 6 years and it’s rare to even see a mosquito. I don’t think I’ve ever been bit. We even have stormwater canal, over grown with rushes and always some standing water, but no stink and no mosquitoes. Spiders, particularly black widows, are our menace, and thank heavens they don’t fly and don’t live on blood.

    Good luck with the undignified scratching. I have a cure for poison ivy itch, but nothing for skeeter bytes. Your tale reminds me of Disney’s “Jungle BOOk,” where Baloo the Bear rips a tree from the ground for a really good scratch, “That’s how a bear can rest at ease with all the bare necessities of life.”

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