Is There Something In The Food?

Let’s talk high school facial hair.

When I take Cheyenne to school each day I see young men – lots of them – with full-blown facial hair.  And by full-blown I mean, not the peach fuzz or couple of straggly chin hairs that I saw on teenage boys in my youth, I mean the facial hair of full-grown men.  The only time I saw facial hair in high school was on the boys who had been in high school for an extra year and were working their way toward age 19.  The boys with facial hair back in my day were the bad boys and had an aura of mystery – and yes, they were a hot commodity with the girls because they looked so manly.

But those days of three boys with facial hair in a high school of 750 kids are gone.  Now these hairy boys seem to be everywhere. What in the world is going on? These boys look like college students. I don’t know about this…it leaves me unsettled.  Thank goodness that Cheyenne is only 15 and not in dating mode as I cannot imagine how I would adjust to a boy coming around who already has to shave regularly.

When did boys start maturing so much more quickly?  Is there something in the food that is affecting them?  Is this an outgrowth of giving steroids to cows, pigs, and chickens?   Is this to blame on GMOs?  Or is this just some evolutionary thing?  In 20 years will the boys in middle school have a five o’clock shadow?

Cheyenne says I am just barely noticing this facial hair phenomenon this year because the students at Sheyenne High School (last year) were only in 9th and 10th grade.  She reminds me that West Fargo High School has grades 10 through 12.   Every morning when I lament about how hairy the young men at West Fargo High School are, Cheyenne feels compelled to share with me how cute she things they are. Uff da.

Can I say officially to all of you out there reading today’s blog – I AM NOT READY FOR THIS.  Not at all ready.

Maybe I should send Cheyenne to a convent school – they still have those right? Places where there are all girls in uniforms and there is not a boy within 10 miles?  Perhaps I could home school her in a remote home location – any good homes for sale in the Alps?

Of course I cannot do such things.  I recognize that I am going to have to adjust to this new hairy reality and ready myself for the inevitability that someday Cheyenne will be bringing such a boy home to meet me.  When you think about it, that poor fellow will be worse off than I am – I only have to adjust to his hairiness, he has to adjust to me. 😉

Day one thousand five hundred and twenty-eight of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C

1 Response

  1. tim haering

    The “I AM NOT READY” posture is perfect for the column, but I suspect you’re readier than you let on. And Cheyenne is too smart, who respects a mother who cares a lot, to fall for nuthin but a soul patch or a goatee. Girls have been growing breasts and menstruating earlier for decades. Whatever has them blooming early is working on boys too, we just don’t look so closely at the boys. Since you cannot see evolution in the present at the individual level, it is impossible to say if boys and girls who bloom earlier tend to have more children. Probably lots of factors. Not really important. I Just feel bad for the boys, because shaving is no fun at all. that’s probably why you notice their hairy faces. Already they loathe shaving, so they grow whiskers, and you see them. You’ll be okay, Mom. Cheyenne too.

    I must admit it’s getting better, a little better all the time.

Comments are closed.