Husbands – I’ve had a few; but, I only have one wife, and she is my favorite.
I have not had a wife for long. We were officially coupled this past April at the the Statue of Liberty in New York City. We were coupled by a delightful older gentleman named Ray and our coupling was witnessed by his lovely wife Rae (now lovingly referred to as Ray-Rae).
We did not know at the day’s outset that we would end up coupled. Is was one of those things that just happened. And I must say, I am glad it did because my wife is awesome. She’s energetic, intelligent, cheerful, savvy, helpful, beautiful, focused, kind, thoughtful, and dwells in positivity – truly, she is all one could hope for in a partner (or a friend, family member, or colleague for that matter).
I surmise I should share with you how we met; we have our daughters (Cheyenne and Marie) and West Fargo High School Orchestra teacher Heather Klundt to thank for that. Our daughters roomed together on a whirlwind orchestra/band trip to New York and as a byproduct their mothers were assigned to the same chaperone room. Of course my daughter, Cheyenne, who lives life in a constant state of fear based on the myriad of ways she believes her mother can embarrass her, provided a stern warning to said mother (a.k.a. me) when she recognized that I would be sharing a room with her friend’s mother. She made clear what was, and was not, acceptable behavior and ordered/pleaded compliance. My assurances that I could, and would, act like a civilized, normal human being were only mildly reassuring to Cheyenne.
But make no mistake, it had been decades since I had shared a room for three nights with someone assigned to me. I was apprehensive going in, but committed to making the best of it for Cheyenne’s sake. I think Marie’s mom (a.k.a. my favorite wife) was on the same page; albeit, she did not receive all the behavioral admonishments in advance that I did.
Cheyenne sought to hedge her bets by apologizing to Marie’s mom in advance for what her mother may or may not do and advised her that as long as coffee was administered early in the day, her mother could function as an almost normal person. I must admit that the coffee part was a fairly accurate assessment.
And so it began, the road that led me to my favorite wife.
My favorite wife, being the amazing woman she is, saw to it that I had not one, but two cups of hot coffee waiting for me each morning when I woke. One would be placed at the nightstand by the bed and the other would be on the vanity counter for consumption while I got ready for the day. This action on my favorite wife’s part was indicative of the thoughtfulness and care she evidences every day for those around her. You cannot help but love a person like that.
The New York trip was a story in-and-of-itself that will be left for another day, except for the fateful excerpt from the Statue of Liberty that resulted in me gaining a wife. The day we visited the Statue of Liberty it was pouring rain and between the rain and the stairs we hiked to get to the viewing platform, I was looking and feeling like a bedraggled old cat that had seen better days. I was happy to finally get out of the rain and into the cafeteria to eat something and to attempt some remediation of my soggy spirit. There wasn’t a seat in the place, but happily my favorite wife was there and made room for me on the small bench she was sitting on. I really needed that in the moment.
A couple minutes after I settled in and started eating, Ray-Rae arrived at a standing table nearby and struck up a conversation with my favorite wife and I. While I was speaking to Rae about where she lived in New Jersey and her decades of marriage to Ray, Ray asked my favorite wife if we were married. When she replied that we were she paused for a second and added, but not to each other. Ray was quick to chuckle and share that he thought we were married based on our interaction. I was so engrossed in my conversation with Rae that I missed the whole exchange, but a couple moments later my favorite wife shared it with me and Rae and we all had a hearty laugh at our perceived compatibility and coupling.
It occurred to me in that moment, that I could have no better wife than the woman sitting next to me. Not just because of the coffee, or all her great personality attributes, or that she shared her bench, but because she evidenced (along with Ray-Rae) a sense of beautiful openness, acceptance, and tolerance for love and companionship no matter what it looks like. And truth be told, I value that openness, acceptance, and tolerance more than all the other things combined.
Hence, I now have a wife – my favorite wife. Others may prefer to call us new friends, but I will always call her my favorite wife as an homage to the beauty of what she evidenced in that brief dialogue with Ray at the Statue of Liberty. In a time when hate and intolerance seems to be making a comeback, we should all aspire to be like my favorite wife.
Live and let live my friends, and if you can provide morning coffee as a bonus you are a special treasure.
Another day in the new forty – obla di obla da